Funny Status Messages

Slickpony: so....for those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman....Listen Up: The G spot is located....at the end of the word Shopping.... 17 Dislike
@TheStonedArab: I don't believe in change, I pay the exact amount. 16 Dislike
Justin (Canada): I just created a website for female drivers, but it keeps crashing. 15 Dislike
SCOTLAND: Im deaf. Never thought id hear myself say that. 15 Dislike
SCOTLAND: I dont see why so many people enjoy anal. I think its just fukin shit. 15 Dislike
SCOTLAND: I like going into McDonalds and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first. 15 Dislike
SCOTLAND: Whats the difference between sin and shame? Its a sin to put it in, but its a shame to pull it out. 15 Dislike
pinktiewizard: I am comical, I am humorous, I am Funny, I am hysterical, I am amusing, I am right now on thesaurus.com 15 Dislike
Garnik: It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you 15 Dislike
SuperDan: What do you call all the extra useless skin around the vagina?------------ The woman. 15 Dislike

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Last post by Ryan Swain on 29/01/2012 06:45:09 PM GMT

Ryan Swain Cape Town: The world's largest Superhero Retirement community.
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 06:45 PM 1 Like
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Ryan Swain Teenage pregnancies would be greatly reduced if bars and clubs had better lighting.
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 04:03 PM 3 Like
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Ryan Swain I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 03:25 PM 4 Like
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Ryan Swain A true relationship is like a pair of creased jeans, it's problems can always be ironed out.
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 03:24 PM Like
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Ryan Swain Don't steal, don't lie and don't cheat. The government hates competition!
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 03:19 PM 1 Like
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Ryan Swain Christianity, just one woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand.
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 02:30 PM Like
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J. ESSO Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got f*cked to achieve it!
Posted by J. ESSO 29/01/2012 01:32 PM 2 Like
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Ryan Swain My girlfriend kept going "Ssshhhhh!" during sex, last night. I think she might have a puncture.
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 01:07 PM 2 Like
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sirdawko When I meet a woman for the 1st time,they usually ask me the same old questions.Who are you,how did you get in & why are you wearing my bra?
Posted by sirdawko 29/01/2012 12:54 PM 2 Like
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Ryan Swain These NHS cut backs have gone way to far, I didn't even get a f*cking sticker at the dentist this morning!
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 12:41 PM 2 Like
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Ryan Swain There's water all over the floor "Dial 999, the baby is on its way." I replied, "Hang on a minute, I think the dishwasher is f*cked."
Posted by Ryan Swain 29/01/2012 12:36 PM 4 Like
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Justin (USA) Q( - _-)_____¦__o___Q(-_ - ) *Asian ping pong match*
Posted by Justin (USA) 29/01/2012 05:12 AM 1 Like
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Kslay I hate mini cupcakes. You eat 3 of them, then convince yourself 3 mini's are equivalent to 1 regular cupcake. Never ending battle!
Posted by Kslay 29/01/2012 04:10 AM 1 Like
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Justin (Canada) Need an ark? I Noah guy.
Posted by Justin (Canada) 29/01/2012 03:42 AM Like
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Gazza I've decided to build my own Italian cruise ship. It'll be called 'The Costa Your Life-a'.
Posted by Gazza 29/01/2012 01:44 AM Like
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Wyld Child what do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Posted by Wyld Child 29/01/2012 01:41 AM 1 Like
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smiddie What does a 80 year old woman have between her legs that a 20 year old doesn't? Her tits.
Posted by smiddie 29/01/2012 01:39 AM Like
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smiddie I'm not doing that National Health lottery again, last week I got three numbers and MRSA.
Posted by smiddie 29/01/2012 01:37 AM 1 Like
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@wroughtiron I took my Grandad's inheritance to Flog It last week. Apparently they don't accept Grandmas, and I had to take her home again.
Posted by @wroughtiron 29/01/2012 01:35 AM Like
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Justincider My neighbour gets her underwear online. I wait until she's out, then hop over the fence and take it offline.
Posted by Justincider 29/01/2012 01:32 AM Like
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